A massage to remember

We didn’t feel the need for any fasting, psychic diagnostic therapy or chakra realignment, but we did take advantage of great massages available in Indonesia. In Lovina we booked massages at the hotel. We had been spoiled by Noor’s and Saab’s soft, chubby hands in Lombok and were pretty freaked out by an unfamiliar set in Bali. My lady was called Normina and looked 100. David’s lady (can’t remember her name) was a spring chicken in comparison at 66. Before any oil was put on our backs, we were treated to a dry hand press. It was a bit like being sand-papered. Normina’s hands were like old parchment. I don’t think she meant to be mean, but the massage really hurt. She couldn’t hear me whimpering as she was deaf so continued squeezing and pummeling my skin, all the while grinning her one-tooth smile. David didn’t get off lightly; his lady squeezed so hard with her bony fingers that his wrist hurt for days afterwards. She had a solution “You buy Tiger Balm from me”. Normina started chanting “For bruise, for stomach, for sunburn” and other such uses. At least I think that’s what she was saying. It’s hard to understand someone who only has one tooth. We didn’t buy any of the magic ointment but perhaps we should have as it would have masked the way we smelled: of cheap biscuits (I think we had been massaged with palm oil).