Fish

We have seen more carp here than anywhere else on the planet. Whenever there’s a pond, there’s carp. I always find them really creepy: those big sucking lips, the way they stick out of the water to beg for food and the way the fish fight each other for bread making those revolting sucking/kissing noises in the process. They really are abominations. David loves them and was pleased to discover that we actually had a carp pond IN OUR BATHROOM. You can watch them as you sit on the loo. I tried to pretend they weren’t real.