The Others

Being the only guests in a small resort can be exhausting. We were always the center of attention, had no anonymity, everyone was trying that little bit too hard to please us, and the slow, lonely breakfasts were starting to make us feel edgy. We actually began to wonder whether we were the first ever guests. What was really funny was the Fawlty-esque ways in which the hotel staff tried to pretend that there were in fact other guests. Here are some episodes from our stay:

- The room was heavily discounted and we were upgraded to the room next to the pool
- When we phone to arrange pick up from the airport, they knew exactly who I was.
- There was a sad charade of laying 5 or more tables for breakfast each morning – including a table for 4 people!
- The sun loungers are set up every morning with towels and flowers – except the morning that we were on a trip with Made. Who else was around to use the pool?
- One night I asked for an extra pillow and at first they told me that they didn’t have any spare ones. I almost laughed out loud as we knew there were 19 unoccupied rooms they could just take one from.
- The resort offers all sorts of courses from woodcarving to Indonesian cooking – all taught by Made, not resident experts as advertised.
- One day Made was a few minutes late to collect us from reception to take us into Ubud. He apologized and explained that he had been out with other guests. What other guests?! Our guess was that he had been sent out for milk as there wasn’t any for breakfast.
- Another day he picked us up from town and told us about his busy day ferrying guests to and from Ubud. We were too polite to ask where the other guests were….
- We remembered the night that we had arrived and ate an embarrassingly slow dinner at the lonely restaurant. We had assumed that everyone else was out partying. Of course, there was no one else.

This has the making of a great Fast Show skit, or a cheesy horror movie. We did wonder if the entire staff was delusional.